I have had some very strong struggles over the past few weeks where Alex has been concerned. I know that I have been tested in my faith, that I have been stretched, and that I am being purified in the fire! One thing for sure, I have not lost my sight of God throughout our whole ordeal.
We made the choice to homeschool him begining next year recently. I've received so much confirmation that we are following God's will here it has been just jaw dropping. Left and right, front and back, God has spoken loud and clear here.
I have been searching into curriculum for him, and praying about it. I know that I will have what will work for him for next year when it is time, but please, think of us, and if you have suggestions, feel free to leave me a comment. I will most certainly review whatever is sent my way!
Friday, was the straw that broke the proverbial camel's back though. The teacher that is in charge of him took photos of him on her personal cell phone and sent them to me in a text message. No explaination for them and no phone call. He had been drawing on the desk and I guess she felt the need to have me view his artwork. Let me explain why this made me so very angry.
First, there is a behavior chart that comes home with him every day. I sign and keep a copy, one copy goes back to her, and the final copy goes in his file for adminstration. There are times where she has let me know that he has drawn on the desk, I got that. I don't feel there was a need to take a photo of it and send it to me. What exactly was that supposed to accomplish?
Second, the photo was taken of him in the middle of the classroom within sight of the other children and teachers. It was strictly for humiliation of him and nothing else.
Third, he has been singled out. The other children in that room are in standard wooden school desks. My 6 year old is sitting in a desk that looks like it has a dry erase top. Yes, you read that correctly. A dry erase desktop - and he was expected NOT to draw on it, WITHOUT that being told to him until AFTER he had already done it.
Forth, she did not put that he even drew on the desk on the behavior chart that comes home. Remember, the one that has a copy to go to the adminstration? There was no mention of the drawing, no mention of the texts, nothing. No apparent paper trail so that administration could track this incident.
Fifth, and the final straw, she told him to stand next to his desk. He did. She says, "Smile for the camera!" Oh, the anger that rose up in me from the whole thing! Thankfully my husband had the sense to make me wait 2 hours before us going to the school over it.
Yes, we handled it through the proper channels, and with dignity and respect. There will be an administrative action taken against the teacher. The school is aware of our plan to homeschool him and supportive of it. How dare they do this??? As if he did not have enough struggles dealing with the previous trama from the begining of the year and that so called teacher!
A dear friend of mine gave me some advice. She told me to pray for the teacher and to remember that we are to pray for our enemies.
I don't view this teacher as my enemy. She is not the enemy. She was unfortunantly the vessel used to hurt my son. I will pray for her, but not as if she is the enemy, but as a woman who needs Jesus and the love He brings in her life!
So with that, I've found a wonderful online community of homeschool families. www.thehomeschoollounge.com I will try to get a button on here for them soon. Check them out, wonderful group of women from all over the country!
And so we begin a new and exciting journey with our son, at least where his education is concerned!
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Grrrr....
Well if this isn't a frustrating start.
When they make appointments at the OT office, they schedule you in 30 minutes before your appointment time. So this morning we are penciled in at 8:30, but his appointment isn't until 9. I get there just past 8:40 thanks to the school traffic, and what do they tell me? I have to bring him back at 1. They won't see him because we are over 10 minutes late. For an appointment that isn't supposed to start until 9. Bah. Oh well, it's okay really, it just means he gets to stay at home with me today. That is not such a bad thing considering how things are going at school. Which brings me to my next point of frustration.
When we decided to put him into DEAP, we did it based on the information we were given about the program. We didn't have a lot of choices, and at the time DEAP seemed to be the best choice. DEAP is actually Disciplinary Education Alternative Placement. Yeah, you got it, my kindergartener is in the alternative program. Our choices were to do nothing at his current school at the time, and that couldn't work because he was completely disrupting the classroom. We could put him on the 504 plan, but that wouldn't work because all they would do is just keep suspending him from school. We couldn't have him evaluated for the PBS (Positive Behavior Setting) because PBS is for special needs children and the evaluation would take weeks and they would have had to label him "emotionally disturbed" to put him in there. Seriously, I was not going to go there. He may have some things going on but he is most certainly not emotionally disturbed. DEAP was supposed to be a positive thing, set up for the kids to earn points, set up for the child to succeed....even though it is a punative setting, but everyone (including us) thought it would be a good thing for him. No transitioning classes, no major distractions, only a few children, and 3 teachers 1 counselor to work with him.
DEAP has turned into a nightmare for him and us both.
He's been there almost 30 days and not had the first successful day yet.
Whenever I call they tell me that they will have another school district level meeting to determine what else they can do with him - and when I ask what the "what else" is they cannot really tell me. She says, maybe put him on a behavioral plan. Well, to me that is exactly what he has right now. 5 things he has to work on, and his teacher lets me know every single little thing that he does wrong, trust me on that. His paper is outlined every day with an itemized list of his mistakes.
So I tell the counselor yesterday that his OT has said he has the markers for autism, that she feels like DEAP is not what is best for him, and you know what that lady tells me? That he might be borderline but he's not badly autistic. I'm thinking, "what do you know? when did you get your medical degree?" And when I bring up the fact that he has seriously regressed in behavior, the counselor tells me that is common when the kids get into the program because it is a punative program and sometimes the other kids in the room are worse than what your child is, blah blah blah - okay look, Alex is not a new student in there, there is no reason for some of these things to be happening, and I am D.O.N.E.
I feel like we have just been tossed to the side, and that is that. I feel like noone is willing to answer our questions, that noone is willing to help him or us. I don't get phone calls returned, emails returned....and I can really tell that they (being the school) don't want to talk to me, I am a point of frustration for them and so is my son. Whatever happened to the school system actually helping the students it has???
I think parents who get a diagnosis right away, before their child is school age, have it easier than parents like us. He's been in pre-k, but not really long enough to see anything, and all the school wants to do is say he has ADHD and have me give him pills.
Well you know what? It is my RIGHT and my CHOICE to not give him medication that DOES NOT WORK!!! I do not see any benefit to that whatsoever! And if they would actually stop and look at his behavior they would see that it is NOT ADHD! We've already been told that! But their precious psychologist (who cannot even write scripts, I have to get meds from Alex's pediatrician) said Alex does after ONE 45 minute session, so therefore it must be gold right?
Okay.
I think I'm done venting it out.
I know that God is with us, I know that He makes a way. But in all honesty, I wanted to share EVERY aspect of our journey with this, to be true witnesses. This is not easy. It is filled with nights that you cry, days you want to give up, days you get frustrated at all the "professionals", days you get frustrated at your child because you don't understand why, days you feel like a failure as a parent, and days where you truimph!
Continue to pray for our family, it really does help.
When they make appointments at the OT office, they schedule you in 30 minutes before your appointment time. So this morning we are penciled in at 8:30, but his appointment isn't until 9. I get there just past 8:40 thanks to the school traffic, and what do they tell me? I have to bring him back at 1. They won't see him because we are over 10 minutes late. For an appointment that isn't supposed to start until 9. Bah. Oh well, it's okay really, it just means he gets to stay at home with me today. That is not such a bad thing considering how things are going at school. Which brings me to my next point of frustration.
When we decided to put him into DEAP, we did it based on the information we were given about the program. We didn't have a lot of choices, and at the time DEAP seemed to be the best choice. DEAP is actually Disciplinary Education Alternative Placement. Yeah, you got it, my kindergartener is in the alternative program. Our choices were to do nothing at his current school at the time, and that couldn't work because he was completely disrupting the classroom. We could put him on the 504 plan, but that wouldn't work because all they would do is just keep suspending him from school. We couldn't have him evaluated for the PBS (Positive Behavior Setting) because PBS is for special needs children and the evaluation would take weeks and they would have had to label him "emotionally disturbed" to put him in there. Seriously, I was not going to go there. He may have some things going on but he is most certainly not emotionally disturbed. DEAP was supposed to be a positive thing, set up for the kids to earn points, set up for the child to succeed....even though it is a punative setting, but everyone (including us) thought it would be a good thing for him. No transitioning classes, no major distractions, only a few children, and 3 teachers 1 counselor to work with him.
DEAP has turned into a nightmare for him and us both.
He's been there almost 30 days and not had the first successful day yet.
Whenever I call they tell me that they will have another school district level meeting to determine what else they can do with him - and when I ask what the "what else" is they cannot really tell me. She says, maybe put him on a behavioral plan. Well, to me that is exactly what he has right now. 5 things he has to work on, and his teacher lets me know every single little thing that he does wrong, trust me on that. His paper is outlined every day with an itemized list of his mistakes.
So I tell the counselor yesterday that his OT has said he has the markers for autism, that she feels like DEAP is not what is best for him, and you know what that lady tells me? That he might be borderline but he's not badly autistic. I'm thinking, "what do you know? when did you get your medical degree?" And when I bring up the fact that he has seriously regressed in behavior, the counselor tells me that is common when the kids get into the program because it is a punative program and sometimes the other kids in the room are worse than what your child is, blah blah blah - okay look, Alex is not a new student in there, there is no reason for some of these things to be happening, and I am D.O.N.E.
I feel like we have just been tossed to the side, and that is that. I feel like noone is willing to answer our questions, that noone is willing to help him or us. I don't get phone calls returned, emails returned....and I can really tell that they (being the school) don't want to talk to me, I am a point of frustration for them and so is my son. Whatever happened to the school system actually helping the students it has???
I think parents who get a diagnosis right away, before their child is school age, have it easier than parents like us. He's been in pre-k, but not really long enough to see anything, and all the school wants to do is say he has ADHD and have me give him pills.
Well you know what? It is my RIGHT and my CHOICE to not give him medication that DOES NOT WORK!!! I do not see any benefit to that whatsoever! And if they would actually stop and look at his behavior they would see that it is NOT ADHD! We've already been told that! But their precious psychologist (who cannot even write scripts, I have to get meds from Alex's pediatrician) said Alex does after ONE 45 minute session, so therefore it must be gold right?
Okay.
I think I'm done venting it out.
I know that God is with us, I know that He makes a way. But in all honesty, I wanted to share EVERY aspect of our journey with this, to be true witnesses. This is not easy. It is filled with nights that you cry, days you want to give up, days you get frustrated at all the "professionals", days you get frustrated at your child because you don't understand why, days you feel like a failure as a parent, and days where you truimph!
Continue to pray for our family, it really does help.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Rambling Vindication
What a past couple of days! I am so amazed at how things have progressed and how God provides...He never fails to amaze me.
First, I want to share my personal praise report.
Alex had his first Occupational Therapy appointment on Thursday morning. That was a most amazing experience - I wanted to bring his therapist home with me and just keep her for everything! Of course, we cannot do that because she blesses so many people in the position she holds.
Let me begin by explaining how God has set this up. I started looking into something called "Sensory Intergration Dysfunction" in regards for Alex awhile back. The principle of his school brought this to my attention during one of our meetings. She had been thinking about what was going on with Alex and over one particular weekend while her and her husband were away she had seen an article in a magazine that made her think of Alex so she shared it with me. In my research about SID, I really felt like it described a lot of things that were going on with him. Never had I been able to figure out why the seams of his socks irritated him so badly, why his bed was "bumpy" to him, why he doesn't eat with a fork/spoon until I read up on this. In order to get this diagnosis, you have to see a certified OT that specializes in this area. So I brought this up to his pediatrician and the doc set in motion the referrals needed from the insurance company to get him evaluated.
The OT's office is called Integrity Rehab. They have a website, and so when the referral came through, I pulled up their website....WOW. They base their practice on Biblical teaching and on the healing of Jesus Christ. Out of all the places we could have ended up here, this is the one that was chosen for us. That is God for you! To top it all off, his OT specializes in sensory disorders. Praise God!
Alex goes in for his evaluation, and let me tell you - she was able to get him to sit still in the seat for 20 minutes! No wiggles, no tapping toes, no jerky arms AND she actually got him to do work! She recommended we purchase something called a CoreDisk Beanbag - it is a seat pad that is filled with plastic pellets that will provide sensory feedback to him.
Her official opinion, he most certainly has sensory issues and she is fully pushing us to continue to go for an evaluation for autism. Her opinion is that he is displaying the telltale markers of autism. I trust her opinion, because for one, they work with autistic children daily. A good deal of autistic children benefit from OT.
Well, needless to say, I came home excited! So I decide to take a leap of faith and call the developmental pediatric office that we have been trying to get him into to see if the appointment books were open yet....We have been trying to get him in there since February, and those books have been closed for MONTHS. The receptionist puts me on hold, and when she comes back she tells me that we have an appointment for September 10th! FINALLY! Can you say shout from the rooftops the glory of our God???
I know September seems like a world away right now, but keep in mind, there are children out there right now who have to wait a year or longer to get into a developmental ped office or do not have the ability to be seen at all.
The lady at the insurance company told me that she doesn't like it when people call from SC because they don't even have a developmental ped there to see children. How sad is that??? Yes, we have very good insurance, being a military family many of our medical/behavioral needs are met at little or no cost to our family, however, we have to find doctors that are already in our insurance network. For the most part that is pretty easy, but when you start getting into the specialty fields, it becomes a little more hazy.
At any rate, God has provided. We are one step closer to discovering what exactly is going on with Alex.
To top it all off, he had is his best day ever at school on Friday. No, it wasn't considered a successful day, he didn't get the 30 points he needed to have a successful day, but it was still a success for him in my eyes. He came home with a 26 - the highest amount of points he's gotten since being placed into DEAP.
Over the next few weeks he will be receiving OT services. They are going to work on his sensory issues (most of which are in the tactile area) and they are going to be doing ABA therapy with him (Applied Behavior Analysis) which will work on his social skills, trying to get him to come out of that world that he is locked into.
Thank you Father God, thank You for coming through for us, thank You for seeing us more precious than the birds of the air, and thank You for wrapping us in Your loving arms of grace and mercy!
First, I want to share my personal praise report.
Alex had his first Occupational Therapy appointment on Thursday morning. That was a most amazing experience - I wanted to bring his therapist home with me and just keep her for everything! Of course, we cannot do that because she blesses so many people in the position she holds.
Let me begin by explaining how God has set this up. I started looking into something called "Sensory Intergration Dysfunction" in regards for Alex awhile back. The principle of his school brought this to my attention during one of our meetings. She had been thinking about what was going on with Alex and over one particular weekend while her and her husband were away she had seen an article in a magazine that made her think of Alex so she shared it with me. In my research about SID, I really felt like it described a lot of things that were going on with him. Never had I been able to figure out why the seams of his socks irritated him so badly, why his bed was "bumpy" to him, why he doesn't eat with a fork/spoon until I read up on this. In order to get this diagnosis, you have to see a certified OT that specializes in this area. So I brought this up to his pediatrician and the doc set in motion the referrals needed from the insurance company to get him evaluated.
The OT's office is called Integrity Rehab. They have a website, and so when the referral came through, I pulled up their website....WOW. They base their practice on Biblical teaching and on the healing of Jesus Christ. Out of all the places we could have ended up here, this is the one that was chosen for us. That is God for you! To top it all off, his OT specializes in sensory disorders. Praise God!
Alex goes in for his evaluation, and let me tell you - she was able to get him to sit still in the seat for 20 minutes! No wiggles, no tapping toes, no jerky arms AND she actually got him to do work! She recommended we purchase something called a CoreDisk Beanbag - it is a seat pad that is filled with plastic pellets that will provide sensory feedback to him.
Her official opinion, he most certainly has sensory issues and she is fully pushing us to continue to go for an evaluation for autism. Her opinion is that he is displaying the telltale markers of autism. I trust her opinion, because for one, they work with autistic children daily. A good deal of autistic children benefit from OT.
Well, needless to say, I came home excited! So I decide to take a leap of faith and call the developmental pediatric office that we have been trying to get him into to see if the appointment books were open yet....We have been trying to get him in there since February, and those books have been closed for MONTHS. The receptionist puts me on hold, and when she comes back she tells me that we have an appointment for September 10th! FINALLY! Can you say shout from the rooftops the glory of our God???
I know September seems like a world away right now, but keep in mind, there are children out there right now who have to wait a year or longer to get into a developmental ped office or do not have the ability to be seen at all.
The lady at the insurance company told me that she doesn't like it when people call from SC because they don't even have a developmental ped there to see children. How sad is that??? Yes, we have very good insurance, being a military family many of our medical/behavioral needs are met at little or no cost to our family, however, we have to find doctors that are already in our insurance network. For the most part that is pretty easy, but when you start getting into the specialty fields, it becomes a little more hazy.
At any rate, God has provided. We are one step closer to discovering what exactly is going on with Alex.
To top it all off, he had is his best day ever at school on Friday. No, it wasn't considered a successful day, he didn't get the 30 points he needed to have a successful day, but it was still a success for him in my eyes. He came home with a 26 - the highest amount of points he's gotten since being placed into DEAP.
Over the next few weeks he will be receiving OT services. They are going to work on his sensory issues (most of which are in the tactile area) and they are going to be doing ABA therapy with him (Applied Behavior Analysis) which will work on his social skills, trying to get him to come out of that world that he is locked into.
Thank you Father God, thank You for coming through for us, thank You for seeing us more precious than the birds of the air, and thank You for wrapping us in Your loving arms of grace and mercy!
Monday, May 4, 2009
One More Step
Romans 5:3 (NLT) We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance.
I've created this blog to chronicle our journey into the unknown with our 6 year old son, Alexander. Currently you could describe him as...interesting...different...a puzzle. It has been a long road just getting to where we are right now, which is not much further than where we started almost a year ago. I thought that by creating this blog, it might help us see how far we've come, and to keep our eye on the prize.
The scripture I have here today really just sums up the outlook that I want to maintain through this journey. As hard as it has been for me and Darryl as parents, it has been just as hard on our girls and more than likely harder on Alex than any of us. I love my son deeply, he is a gift that God has given us, and I firmly believe he has been called to be a spiritual warrior.
I know what Alex is going through is not just physical, mental, or emotional. It's spiritual as well. I can sit back and see the major changes that he's gown through just in the past 2 years....from being a very young boy in the back seat of the car belting out the chorus of "Cry out to Jesus" to becoming a young boy seemingly locked in his mind....
We are looking at the possibility of Autism. More exactly, Aspergers.
I truly believe that the next few years of Alex's life are going to be determined by our outlook on this. We are going to be as thankful, positive, and rejoiceful as we can. In the meantime, through the sacrifice of praise, we are going to trust in the Lord. He knows better than we do, and He prepares our way for us.
Today the appointment books were supposed to open for the developmental pediatrician that Alex will be seeing. I called them today and the books have not been released yet, and according to the receptionist, there are 20 other children that absolutely have to be seen and Alex is going to follow behind them. They are already scheduling out for September. I do not know why these doors are not open for us just yet, but there is a reason. We are just trusting in God, and knowing that He is our all, and He is our rock.
I tell you, going through a situation where you watch your child just pull inward is most certainly something that will beckon you to your knees. You can choose to fall in many ways....in the natural you can hit the ground, wrenching your clothes and wringing your hands, wailing out "woe is me!" and feeling total and utter dispair. OR
You can gently lower yourself, into submission of the Father, at the foot of the cross. Resting in the prescence of God, knowing that HE ALONE carries you, and put total childlike faith and trust into the fact that the Creator of the universe is bigger than this. Wholly surrendered....
I've created this blog to chronicle our journey into the unknown with our 6 year old son, Alexander. Currently you could describe him as...interesting...different...a puzzle. It has been a long road just getting to where we are right now, which is not much further than where we started almost a year ago. I thought that by creating this blog, it might help us see how far we've come, and to keep our eye on the prize.
The scripture I have here today really just sums up the outlook that I want to maintain through this journey. As hard as it has been for me and Darryl as parents, it has been just as hard on our girls and more than likely harder on Alex than any of us. I love my son deeply, he is a gift that God has given us, and I firmly believe he has been called to be a spiritual warrior.
I know what Alex is going through is not just physical, mental, or emotional. It's spiritual as well. I can sit back and see the major changes that he's gown through just in the past 2 years....from being a very young boy in the back seat of the car belting out the chorus of "Cry out to Jesus" to becoming a young boy seemingly locked in his mind....
We are looking at the possibility of Autism. More exactly, Aspergers.
I truly believe that the next few years of Alex's life are going to be determined by our outlook on this. We are going to be as thankful, positive, and rejoiceful as we can. In the meantime, through the sacrifice of praise, we are going to trust in the Lord. He knows better than we do, and He prepares our way for us.
Today the appointment books were supposed to open for the developmental pediatrician that Alex will be seeing. I called them today and the books have not been released yet, and according to the receptionist, there are 20 other children that absolutely have to be seen and Alex is going to follow behind them. They are already scheduling out for September. I do not know why these doors are not open for us just yet, but there is a reason. We are just trusting in God, and knowing that He is our all, and He is our rock.
I tell you, going through a situation where you watch your child just pull inward is most certainly something that will beckon you to your knees. You can choose to fall in many ways....in the natural you can hit the ground, wrenching your clothes and wringing your hands, wailing out "woe is me!" and feeling total and utter dispair. OR
You can gently lower yourself, into submission of the Father, at the foot of the cross. Resting in the prescence of God, knowing that HE ALONE carries you, and put total childlike faith and trust into the fact that the Creator of the universe is bigger than this. Wholly surrendered....
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